Films by Daniel Kremer

Raise Your Kids on Seltzer is about a middle-aged married couple, Terry and Tessa, who live in the Bay Area. They are exit counselors who have been forced into early retirement.  An "exit counselor" is a professional who is contracted by families to kidnap people away from dangerous cults so they can be "deprogrammed" at a secure location.  Terry and Tessa's cryptic motto during their often verbally and physically abusive deprogramming process: "Raise Your Kids on Seltzer, Bubble per Bubble!"  They have fallen out of favor in this profession in the years since their 1970's and 80's heyday, when cults were "booming" the most in San Francisco.  There is even a festering lawsuit filed by a disgruntled client following in their wake. For the last fifteen years, to make ends meet, they produce stylish, unintentionally humorous corporate media.  However, they are soon called back to do some exit counseling for one last, very special case. Raise Your Kids on Seltzer is a tender, funny, certainly quirky, and occasionally frightening comedy-drama mainly about how people deal with becoming obsolete.

"From the beginning, the viewer finds himself piecing everything together slowly but with great eagerness. The director, Daniel Kremer, feeds in small doses of coherence until the picture is wholly clear. The stunning naturalness of the dialogue, the actors, the quiet poignancy of each scene, allows us to approach the film as though it were a dense novel. What is wholly clear from the beginning, however, is that the story unraveling is one that deals with an array of profound issues – Daniel Kremer opens his film on a Borges quote, 'To fall in love is to start a religion that has a fallible god' and an interview of an attorney being questioned on the cult of his defendant. Scenes shift with perfect fluidity. There are moments of extraordinary storytelling in this film, and the talent of the actors to make us believe them is abundant."
   -Theo Alexander, Unsung Films 

"[It] gives any larger budgeted counterparts a run for their money. Let the odd name make you stop and look, but let the quality keep you in your seat. Technically, there really isn't much to complain about here. Raise Your Kids On Seltzer generally offers up some nice visual candy. As far as indie productions go, I reiterate, some more budget heavy productions I've seen simply don't stack up to what's presented here. This is all pieced together with a very slick edit that keeps the narrative flowing nicely, while showcasing the best aspects. What are they? For me it was a no brainer...the cast of course! Never did I feel like I was watching a scripted film. Would I recommend it? Yes. I would even go as far as to say I would buy myself a DVD."
   -IndyRed 

107 minutes / 2015 / Color / 2.35:1

Produced and Directed by Daniel Kremer; Director of Photography Aaron Hollander; Written by Penny Werner, Jeff Kao and Daniel Kremer

Starring Penny Werner (Tessa), Jeff Kao (Terry), Deniz Demirer (Jurgen), Kris Caltagirone (Dave), Nancy Kimball (Chloe), Barry Newman (Bill Tannery), William Cully Allen (Donovan Grotek), Alanna Blair (Jenny Grotek), Daniel Kremer (Ben)